Ok, right after last post, the other sm's and i had a talk. I know i am caustic and sarcastic, but i didn't know that they were mad about it. So, I was pretty put off, especially when they essentially said that i wasn't invited to come to vietnam with them. I gotta admit, that really hurt. It is no fun to be left out. I have always hated that. I have dealt with that before, and it is actually what destroyed the sanguine in me, and replaced it with phlegmatic. My teachers have commented on this strange dichotomy (Choleric-phlegmatic is abnormal) before, and talking with Pastor Speyer, i finally understood what the source of it was. Anyway, I agreed to tone it down, and I am trying to make a point to spend more time with them. Ended up that I went to vietnam alone. I gotta say, i had a great time, vietnam is cool, but very different. Got to see some vietcong tunnels. got wedged in said tunnels. they weren't built for me. very low to the ground ended up on my hands and knees.
Two weekends ago, we had midterms. they sucked, but Tim helped me to grade, and Sharon helped me clean up the room. Those were both enormous help to me, since i was dealing with getting over being sick after thailand, and being depressed over what the other sm's said, and having to go to vietnam alone. I got the room clean, and the grades done, and that felt good. Vietnam pictures will be up soon, as will some pictures from ankor wat. Yes, they are several months late, but they are coming at least. I am doing better with keeping up on grading this half of the quarter, and i am giving out a lot of extra credit to my physics class.
Poor physics, I am way too hard on them. I am teaching concepts that are far beyond them because college physics is still stuck in my head. I am toning the work and tests down, and giving a ton of extra credit to make up for what i feel was unfair.
This week has been weird. Monday, Cambodia experienced a terrible tragedy, culminating in the deaths of approximately 400 khmer. Entire families have been devastated. It is during this time that we see the depths of suspicion in what is otherwise a very secular culture. The supposed cause of the accident was either that no people were sacrificed when the bridge in question was built, or the previous tennants of the island, HIV women, were forced to leave without the proper rituals. either way, the land is supposedly angry. The khmers are afraid. The houses are surrounded by rice and have bananas and incense out front to ward off the evil spirits. The vultures which were circling (to us westerners, it seems obvious that they were after the human carrion) as a sign that a dragon caused this calamity in the service of the land. Hopefully, we missionaries can find a way to be witnesses here, at least to our students.
Both I and Cambodia in general need your prayers during this time.
Thank you,
Travis
Hello Travis. I knew you in a former life: I lived in Ridgecrest until about 12 years ago and knew your parents well. I have no doubt you have evolved considerably since then and seeing that you are now an SM just confirms that suspicion. Congratulations and God bless and keep you! I know your parents must be so very proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you as well but I have to confess that right now I'm still suffering from accute envy of where you are! I have wanted to see Angkor Wat for YEARS and there you are, right in the neighborhood. Awesome pictures, by the way. There's a very interesting book by Graham Hancock called "Heaven's Rainbos" that talks about the layout of Angkor Wat, among other sites, that may or may not be factual but is certainly thought provoking.
Meanwhile, I admire your honesty about the dynamics of the SMs. Keep in mind that this is a new environment for everyone and they're all just trying to get their fears and trepidations under control and manageable. You just happened to be the scape-goat for their frustrations and you are not the only one who has adjusting to do. They do to. It is a hard thing you have taken on but I can see that you are taking responsibility for whatever might be your part in anything. Now we just have to hope that their spirit of criticism and self-righteousness will also be tempered over time.
Just don't sacrifice your personality. A certain amount of cynicism is not a bad thing. Wide eyed innocence is a handicap and ultimately annoying so stay who you are and just let time and everyone's time of adjustment run its course.
I'll be praying for you and following your adventure and checking back periodically for updates.
God bless and guide you.
Helen Martinsen Siverling (Lyndon Martinsen's sister :o)
Please forgive the typo on the title of the Graham Hancock book. It should read "Heaven's Rainbow"
ReplyDeleteMy bad.